1 00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:55,533 You're listening to the mellow sounds... 2 00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:58,067 of KCUP, the k-cup... 3 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,200 69 on your radio dial. 4 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:39,033 ♪ Attack of the killer tomatoes ♪ 5 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:42,500 ♪ attack of the killer tomatoes ♪ 6 00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:44,509 ♪ they'll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you ♪ 7 00:01:44,533 --> 00:01:46,500 ♪ chew you up for brunch 8 00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:48,900 ♪ and finish you off for dinner or lunch ♪ 9 00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:54,900 ♪ they're marching down the halls ♪ 10 00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:58,567 ♪ they're crawling up the walls ♪ 11 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,433 ♪ they're gooey, gushy, squishy, mushy ♪ 12 00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:02,233 ♪ rotten to the core 13 00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:05,800 ♪ they're standing outside your door ♪ 14 00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,867 ♪ remember Herbert Farbage ♪ 15 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:14,933 ♪ while taking out his garbage ♪ 16 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,433 ♪ he turned around, and he did see ♪ 17 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,300 ♪ tomatoes hiding in his tree 18 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:21,467 ♪ now he's just a memory 19 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:27,000 ♪ I know I'm going to miss her ♪ 20 00:02:27,033 --> 00:02:30,467 ♪ a tomato ate my sister 21 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,400 ♪ sacramento fell today 22 00:02:32,433 --> 00:02:34,267 ♪ they're marching into San Jose ♪ 23 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,800 ♪ tomatoes are on their way 24 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:42,967 ♪ the mayor is on vacation 25 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,833 ♪ the governor's fled the nation ♪ 26 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,500 ♪ the police have gone on strike today ♪ 27 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:50,333 ♪ the national guard has run away ♪ 28 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,467 ♪ tomatoes will have their day ♪ 29 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,967 ♪ attack of the killer tomatoes ♪ 30 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,367 ♪ attack of the killer tomatoes ♪ 31 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,343 ♪ they'll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you ♪ 32 00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:06,167 ♪ chew you up for brunch 33 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,333 ♪ and finish you off for dinner or lunch, munch, munch ♪ 34 00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:11,167 ♪ dinner or lunch, munch, munch ♪ 35 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,333 ♪ dinner or lunch 36 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:19,467 One Adam 12. See the woman? 37 00:03:22,175 --> 00:03:24,508 Houston, we have a problem up here. 38 00:03:24,533 --> 00:03:26,133 It's half past the hour... 39 00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:29,206 and now time for the news with Michael St. James. 40 00:03:29,231 --> 00:03:31,367 What do you make of it? 41 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,233 I don't know, Joe. 42 00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:36,100 No weapons, no motive, no clothes. 43 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:39,732 All we've got to go on is this bloody corpse. 44 00:03:41,306 --> 00:03:43,773 - Well, look again, Harry. - Huh? 45 00:03:47,282 --> 00:03:48,599 Not blood... 46 00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:53,884 Due in a large part to a major surplus of tomatoes. 47 00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:56,601 Tomato juice. 48 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:01,532 The tomato crop continues to grow at an unprecedented rate. 49 00:04:01,557 --> 00:04:03,957 Within the last 12 hours, we have received... 50 00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:07,015 a number of unconfirmed reports from throughout the nation... 51 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:10,911 that may or may not be connected to this strange phenomenon. 52 00:04:12,648 --> 00:04:15,148 Sure doesn't taste like tomato juice. 53 00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:28,283 - Look at the giant tomato, Martha. 54 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:30,774 I didn't knew they grew 'em so big, Jess. 55 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,200 I wonder where he's going. 56 00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:37,208 He got little Timmy. 57 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,541 Poor Timmy. 58 00:04:39,252 --> 00:04:41,250 He ate him all up. 59 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:23,898 The tomatoes are coming! Sheriff, they're coming! 60 00:05:24,196 --> 00:05:26,946 My god, did you see that? A tomato... 61 00:05:26,971 --> 00:05:29,258 You didn't see anything. You didn't hear anything. 62 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:31,745 - The pilot's still in there. - Forget about the pilot. 63 00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:34,178 - Come over here! - We can't leave him. 64 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,800 It's just too incredible! A kamikaze tomato! 65 00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,523 - Tomatoes can't fly! - Yeah? 66 00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:41,948 They can't eat people either, but they're doing one heck of an impression. 67 00:05:42,411 --> 00:05:45,033 Jim, talk to that sheriff and find out what's going on. 68 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,261 Get over here! 69 00:05:47,026 --> 00:05:48,026 How bad is it? 70 00:05:48,089 --> 00:05:49,702 Well, sir, I definitely don't think it'll fly again. 71 00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:51,352 I'm not talking about that, you Weiner! 72 00:05:51,377 --> 00:05:52,165 What about the tomatoes. 73 00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:54,200 We found two more bodies at the main road... 74 00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:55,432 but we pushed the tomatoes back to the north end. 75 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,907 I don't think any managed to bust loose. 76 00:05:56,931 --> 00:05:58,548 They better not have. I want this thing contained! 77 00:05:58,572 --> 00:05:59,886 I understand, but nothing seems to stop them. 78 00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:02,632 We tried chemicals, bugs, bullets. Nothing seems to work. 79 00:06:06,704 --> 00:06:09,200 Look, the President wants a complete investigation. 80 00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:10,736 We can't let this out. People would... 81 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:11,761 Panic, that's what. 82 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:14,142 And you know whose ass is on the line? 83 00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:16,142 Yours, mine, and the entire AG department. 84 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,167 Look out! 85 00:06:21,399 --> 00:06:22,837 What if the President wants an investigation? 86 00:06:22,861 --> 00:06:25,027 He'll get his investigation, but we'll keep it quiet. 87 00:06:25,503 --> 00:06:27,467 I've arranged for the most obscure generals... 88 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,683 the most obscure scientists, and to head the investigation... 89 00:06:31,947 --> 00:06:32,947 this man. 90 00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:34,952 - I don't recognize him. - Nobody does. 91 00:06:35,581 --> 00:06:37,100 His name is Mason Dixon. 92 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:38,832 He hasn't worked since the bay of pigs. 93 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,793 - Is there any sign of a problem elsewhere? - Not yet. 94 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,950 I've ordered the entire G.D.P. program shut down. 95 00:06:43,732 --> 00:06:44,633 Wait a minute. 96 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,967 Isn't that Jim Richardson, the Press Secretary? 97 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:47,755 What's he doing here? 98 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,898 The President's got him keeping an eye on the investigation. 99 00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,428 - Why him? - He's got a vegetable garden, that's why. 100 00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:54,116 With peas and carrots and squash and tomatoes. 101 00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:55,559 That sheriff tells me... 102 00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:57,533 there were reports of incidents like this all over the county. 103 00:06:57,559 --> 00:07:00,240 Oh, bullshit. One nut spots a flying saucer, and pretty soon... 104 00:07:00,265 --> 00:07:01,735 everybody's shaking hands with little green men. 105 00:07:01,759 --> 00:07:02,799 God, who would've thought. 106 00:07:03,004 --> 00:07:04,609 All we wanted was a bigger, healthier tomato. 107 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,867 Look out! Here it comes again! 108 00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:10,333 Where did you get this one, general? 109 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:12,567 Oh, I won that one in a three-legged sack race... 110 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,518 last armed forces day picnic. 111 00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:17,400 What's the matter with general number two? 112 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:19,900 Oh, he was out all night on maneuvers. Let him rest. 113 00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:21,566 Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, gentlemen. 114 00:07:21,591 --> 00:07:22,795 Would you follow me, please? 115 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:23,973 Certainly. 116 00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:28,584 Oh, general, would you wake up, please? 117 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:54,067 I apologize for the size of this room, gentlemen. 118 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,065 It's all I could do on such short notice. 119 00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:16,333 Now, are we all here? 120 00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:17,537 Where's Jim Richardson? 121 00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:18,935 - The Press Secretary? - Yes. 122 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,800 Perhaps we can give him a few more minutes. 123 00:08:21,833 --> 00:08:23,800 General, I've been meaning to ask you... 124 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:26,456 have you heard anything about the nuclear strike force... 125 00:08:26,481 --> 00:08:28,100 tactical training command meeting? 126 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,100 - You mean operation nichefict? - That's right. 127 00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:32,833 Not really. I've been following the personnel proficiency planning... 128 00:08:32,867 --> 00:08:34,967 for Pago-Pago paratroop platoon patrols. 129 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,233 Oh, operation ppppp. 130 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,933 - What's the poop on ppppp? - Moving well. 131 00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,767 Did somebody mention misfits? 132 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,548 - No. Ppppp. - Ah. 133 00:08:43,573 --> 00:08:45,906 Well, then, nichefict must be pretty well wrapped up. 134 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:16,550 Gentlemen, gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 135 00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:18,236 Now that we're all here... 136 00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:20,267 I'd like to turn the meeting over to Dr. Morrison. 137 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,933 - Doctor? - Thank you, captain. 138 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:23,604 - "Major." - Pardon me? 139 00:09:23,746 --> 00:09:24,846 Never mind. 140 00:09:27,578 --> 00:09:30,267 Well, as I'm sure you're well aware... 141 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:33,767 this tomato problem has caused considerable concern... 142 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,432 within the scientific community. 143 00:09:36,294 --> 00:09:38,398 Scientists throughout the nation have... 144 00:09:38,423 --> 00:09:40,249 directed their attention to this... 145 00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:41,652 very vexing problem... 146 00:09:41,677 --> 00:09:43,526 with only limited success. 147 00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:45,365 However... 148 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:48,200 with the help of Dr. Fuji Nokitofa... 149 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:50,353 we believe we've made a breakthrough. 150 00:09:51,345 --> 00:09:53,666 Gentlemen, may I present Dr. Nokitofa. 151 00:09:53,777 --> 00:09:54,800 How do you do, doctor? 152 00:09:54,962 --> 00:09:56,462 Very well, thank you. 153 00:09:57,145 --> 00:09:59,800 Dr. Nokitofa, would you please explain... 154 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,300 the project to the gentlemen? 155 00:10:12,401 --> 00:10:15,142 Gentlemen, what we have developed is, in essence... 156 00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:17,105 a half-man, half-robot... 157 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,294 a very sophisticated combination... 158 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,164 of human intelligence and superhuman powers... 159 00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:24,833 which we are confident will result in the ultimate... 160 00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:26,967 destruction of the enemy. 161 00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,994 Thank you, Dr. Nokitofa. 162 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:35,233 Are there any comments, gentlemen? 163 00:10:35,924 --> 00:10:37,267 Mr. Black? 164 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,167 As head of the federal intelligence agency... 165 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,667 I certainly don't mean to question the background... 166 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,867 of these fine gentlemen... 167 00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:47,633 but frankly, I don't think the answer to this problem... 168 00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,200 lies in trinkets and gadgets. 169 00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:53,767 This is man versus vegetable. 170 00:10:53,855 --> 00:10:57,289 Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags. 171 00:10:58,769 --> 00:11:00,200 He means "fruits." 172 00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:02,800 Ah. Fruits. 173 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,667 You see what I mean? 174 00:11:04,926 --> 00:11:09,833 Mr. Dixon, I've been authorized to assign you four of my best agents. 175 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:12,707 Gentlemen, with your permission, I'd like to... 176 00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:15,262 introduce Mr. Dixon to his operatives. 177 00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:16,295 That's fine, Mr. Platt. 178 00:11:16,561 --> 00:11:18,869 In the meantime, the rest of us will accompany the doctors... 179 00:11:18,894 --> 00:11:21,838 down to view a demonstration of the latest anti-tomato project. 180 00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:23,700 We'll be going outside, Mr. Dixon. 181 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,000 You'd better bring your coat. 182 00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,942 There's a little jap in the air. 183 00:11:27,432 --> 00:11:28,800 He means "nip." 184 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:40,367 ♪ Wash, wash, wash. Scrub, scrub, scrub. ♪ 185 00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:42,743 ♪ Can you get my back? ♪ 186 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:54,300 Oh, my eyes! Oh, my eyes! 187 00:11:54,777 --> 00:11:57,044 Water! Water! 188 00:12:05,254 --> 00:12:07,233 Actually, gentlemen, this project entails... 189 00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:10,183 the development of limbs with superhuman powers. 190 00:12:11,985 --> 00:12:13,300 Unfortunately... 191 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,896 budget limitations have restricted our development to only... 192 00:12:15,921 --> 00:12:18,854 one of these technologically advanced legs. 193 00:12:19,342 --> 00:12:22,376 Okay, Bruce, now let's try running first. 194 00:12:25,026 --> 00:12:27,926 Uh, that'll be fine, Bruce. 195 00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:30,991 Bruce... 196 00:12:31,491 --> 00:12:33,758 please jump for us. 197 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,533 Despite some minor recruitment difficulties... 198 00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,912 caused by our recent P.R. Problem... 199 00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,933 I believe you'll find that your unit... 200 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:50,100 will meet the highest of standards. 201 00:12:50,274 --> 00:12:51,687 Pynchon. 202 00:12:53,436 --> 00:12:55,262 Your men, Dixon. 203 00:12:56,099 --> 00:12:58,738 Sam Smith, disguise expert. 204 00:12:58,992 --> 00:13:01,567 Gretta Attenbaum, swimming expert. 205 00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:04,233 Gretta defected to us after the last Olympics. 206 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:07,933 We feel she's gonna be quite an addition to the department. 207 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:11,361 Greg Colburn, underwater expert. 208 00:13:12,387 --> 00:13:14,833 The fourth member of your unit, Lt. Finletter... 209 00:13:14,867 --> 00:13:17,233 is winding up his current mission. 210 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,500 He'll contact you at these coordinates. 211 00:13:19,801 --> 00:13:21,896 Expect him at "10-100" hours. 212 00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:24,103 Good luck, Dixon. 213 00:13:41,917 --> 00:13:45,142 Can you, like, believe how he waffles on every issue? 214 00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,471 Oh, right on. 215 00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:50,051 We'll never have another president as bad as this one. 216 00:14:07,739 --> 00:14:10,506 What is it? Over there! 217 00:14:13,272 --> 00:14:15,172 No! No! 218 00:14:35,602 --> 00:14:38,132 Mr. Daniels, i realize that in the past... 219 00:14:38,157 --> 00:14:39,733 there have been some questions raised... 220 00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:42,172 regarding the president's use of public funds... 221 00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,767 for what some may consider personal items. 222 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,475 However, I can say without fear of contradiction... 223 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,600 that under no circumstances and at no time... 224 00:14:51,633 --> 00:14:53,667 has the current administration expended... 225 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,400 any public monies whatsoever... 226 00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:59,700 for the purchase of the fluffy flower-print toilet paper. 227 00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:02,467 Now, if there are no further questions... 228 00:15:02,645 --> 00:15:04,067 Thank you, Mr. Press Secretary. 229 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,293 Mr. Secretary! Mr. Secretary! 230 00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:09,884 Just a moment, gentlemen. 231 00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:13,612 One more question. The little fellow in the rear. 232 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,222 Bobby Jenks, sir, P.S. 149. 233 00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:17,733 I have a question, sir. 234 00:15:18,812 --> 00:15:20,772 Certainly, young man. What would you like to know? 235 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:23,741 We've heard nothing at all about the growing tomato menace. 236 00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:28,290 I... 237 00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:32,133 Uh... 238 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,473 Wouldn't exactly call it a menace, young man. 239 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:40,433 There have been some isolated reports... 240 00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:44,133 alleged incidents involving some unusual activity... 241 00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,567 associated with this, uh... 242 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,682 particular vegetable... 243 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:51,000 but I assure you that, uh... 244 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:54,133 this is not and never will become a menace. 245 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:57,033 However, the President, leaving no stone unturned, has... 246 00:15:58,287 --> 00:16:01,333 called upon our most noted congressional leaders in this field... 247 00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:04,400 to begin a thorough, intensive, painstaking... 248 00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,500 and exhaustive investigation... 249 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,228 into the backgrounds and origins of this... 250 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,103 interesting quirk of nature. 251 00:16:12,643 --> 00:16:17,033 Furthermore, you can assure all of your young readers that... 252 00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:20,600 this will never become a problem that Americans need fear. 253 00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:28,433 This, uh, meeting of the senate investigating committee's... 254 00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,400 called to order. 255 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,967 Anybody remember what we're supposed to be investigating? 256 00:16:38,337 --> 00:16:40,467 - The tomatoes, Wayne. - What was it? 257 00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:43,459 We're investigating those tomatoes. 258 00:16:43,522 --> 00:16:46,967 Oh, yes, yes. Yes, of course. Yes. 259 00:16:47,329 --> 00:16:50,967 Well, there's one for you... 260 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000 one for you... 261 00:16:52,873 --> 00:16:54,439 one here for me... 262 00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:56,217 one for you. 263 00:16:57,806 --> 00:17:00,440 There's supposed to be one for everybody. 264 00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:02,900 Wonder where it could be. 265 00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:12,373 Good morning, city herald. May I help you? 266 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,533 Roberts! 267 00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:21,141 - Sir? - Get me Goldstein. 268 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,533 - He's still in Beirut, sir. - Beirut? 269 00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:25,026 Yes, he's fired, sir. 270 00:17:25,051 --> 00:17:26,884 Oh. Yeah. Get me Johnson. 271 00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:30,000 Sorry, sir. He's covering that trial in Texas. 272 00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,170 Oh, cripes! 273 00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:35,100 Okay, just get me anybody in the special assignment desk. 274 00:17:35,462 --> 00:17:37,167 They're all on special assignment. 275 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,328 Goddamn it! Who the hell is here? 276 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,300 Well, uh, there's you, sir. 277 00:17:42,663 --> 00:17:44,600 Thank you, Julius. 278 00:17:45,936 --> 00:17:47,000 Wait a minute. 279 00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:49,333 - There's Fairchild. - Who the hell is he? 280 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:51,200 "She." Sir. 281 00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:53,530 Lois Fairchild, society section. 282 00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:55,221 The new kid? 283 00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:56,990 Society, huh? 284 00:17:57,779 --> 00:17:59,779 Oh, what the hell. Send her in. 285 00:18:02,509 --> 00:18:04,475 Now, damn it! 286 00:18:28,877 --> 00:18:32,179 Hey, look. It's a funky little tomato. 287 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,067 - Where are we going? - Take the old mission road. 288 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,797 Some crazy-ass biker has got himself munched on by a herd of tomatoes. 289 00:18:50,821 --> 00:18:53,275 - So what can we do? - We can keep it quiet, that's what. 290 00:18:53,307 --> 00:18:54,870 Didn't you hear the police radio? 291 00:18:54,895 --> 00:18:56,482 It's solid tomatoes between here and Holtville. 292 00:18:56,506 --> 00:18:57,648 We're liable to get killed! 293 00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,315 Will you can it, you little pud-puller? 294 00:18:59,818 --> 00:19:01,676 If John Q. Public finds out what's really going down... 295 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,633 we're both as good as dead. 296 00:19:06,284 --> 00:19:07,593 Fairchild, sir. 297 00:19:07,697 --> 00:19:10,000 - Hmm? - Fairchild. 298 00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,067 You sent for me? 299 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,850 Oh. Yeah, yeah. Have a seat. 300 00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:18,000 Fairchild, I've been keeping my eye on you. 301 00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:20,647 You've got a good sense of organization. 302 00:19:22,023 --> 00:19:23,031 Thank you, sir. 303 00:19:23,056 --> 00:19:24,661 Fluid style. 304 00:19:24,851 --> 00:19:26,558 - Thank you, sir. - Sharp mind. 305 00:19:26,716 --> 00:19:27,716 Thank you, sir. 306 00:19:27,789 --> 00:19:29,467 - A nice ass. - Thank... 307 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,100 I'm about to give you a challenge... 308 00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,933 your first big assignment... 309 00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:36,067 and I expect you to use... 310 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,812 every attribute at your disposal. 311 00:19:38,837 --> 00:19:41,150 I'm sure that what you lack in experience... 312 00:19:41,175 --> 00:19:44,241 you'll more than make up for in... 313 00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:46,096 Determination. 314 00:19:46,745 --> 00:19:47,745 Now... 315 00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:51,033 this will give you the necessary background... 316 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,577 to handle the assignment. 317 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,067 Go to it. 318 00:19:56,281 --> 00:19:57,876 Right away, sir. 319 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,459 Uh, one more thing, Fairchild: 320 00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:05,073 I'm certain the government will go to unbelievable lengths... 321 00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:07,904 to ensure the secrecy of this thing. 322 00:20:08,213 --> 00:20:09,483 Good luck. 323 00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:14,733 Help! Help! 324 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,346 Do you read me? Do you read me? 325 00:20:27,371 --> 00:20:29,471 Go away! Go away! 326 00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:34,000 - Do you read me? Do you read me? - Are you happy now? 327 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,767 You kept it so goddamned secret, nobody knows where the hell we are! 328 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,967 - Do you read? Do you read? - Help me! S.O.S.! 329 00:20:38,991 --> 00:20:41,791 Give me that, for Christ sake! 330 00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:44,200 You can't tell me to shut up! I quit! 331 00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:46,067 What? You can't quit! The department... 332 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:47,933 Screw the department! I'm gonna die! 333 00:20:47,967 --> 00:20:50,815 You conceited little S.O.B., I'm gonna die too! 334 00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:53,506 Good! Good! Good, good, good... 335 00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:58,233 Not good, Mr. President. Not good at all. 336 00:20:58,354 --> 00:21:00,233 Frankly, I was not overly impressed... 337 00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:03,702 with the level of competency displayed by the scientific team. 338 00:21:03,727 --> 00:21:06,494 I haven't seen Dixon's special forces unit yet... 339 00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,800 but if it's anything like what I've seen so far... 340 00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:12,059 I'd say we're in for a bit of trouble. 341 00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:14,767 I know what you mean, Jim. I know what you mean. 342 00:21:14,895 --> 00:21:17,367 It's like trying to stack bibles... 343 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,267 on whipped cream. 344 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,667 - Yes, sir. - Jim, an unusual problem... 345 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:23,635 calls for an ingenious solution. 346 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,260 I think I've got one. 347 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,633 Jim, have you ever heard of mindmaker? 348 00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:28,508 Certainly, sir. 349 00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:31,031 The advertising agency you used in your campaign. 350 00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:32,267 That's right. 351 00:21:32,307 --> 00:21:35,107 You know, they said I'd never get reelected... 352 00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:38,126 especially after it got out that I used the Statue of Liberty... 353 00:21:38,151 --> 00:21:39,900 as collateral on that Arab loan. 354 00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,638 - Yes, sir. - But... 355 00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:44,078 I'm sitting here now... 356 00:21:44,158 --> 00:21:46,704 and I owe it all to mindmaker. 357 00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:49,177 Incidentally, Jim... 358 00:21:49,202 --> 00:21:51,186 you were in the Middle East last summer. 359 00:21:51,448 --> 00:21:54,622 Tell me, how does the old girl look in the Dead Sea? 360 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,067 - Just grand, sir. - Good. 361 00:21:57,225 --> 00:21:59,237 I tell you, Jim, if those fellows could elect me... 362 00:21:59,262 --> 00:22:01,795 - They can do anything. - Yes, sir. 363 00:22:02,138 --> 00:22:04,933 Jim, I want you to fly to New York immediately. 364 00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:06,633 I want you to see Ted Swann. 365 00:22:06,667 --> 00:22:09,267 Believe me, the man's a genius. 366 00:22:09,664 --> 00:22:10,997 I'm on my way, sir. 367 00:22:18,656 --> 00:22:21,090 Yes, Sir. That's the whole story. 368 00:22:21,825 --> 00:22:24,142 Say, would you want to buy a used crib? 369 00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:27,845 I don't think so, but I appreciate this information. 370 00:22:27,870 --> 00:22:30,304 This could be especially helpful in... 371 00:22:37,692 --> 00:22:39,867 Fairchild, from the times. 372 00:22:40,248 --> 00:22:42,267 What's this deal about tomatoes? 373 00:22:42,592 --> 00:22:44,999 Look, buddy, don't try and stonewall me. 374 00:22:45,024 --> 00:22:48,294 - Hi there, Lois. - Oh. Hi, Clark. 375 00:22:51,018 --> 00:22:52,635 - What are you doing here? - Uh, no comment. 376 00:22:52,659 --> 00:22:53,841 And who's he? 377 00:22:54,142 --> 00:22:54,913 No comment. 378 00:22:54,938 --> 00:22:56,560 How serious is this situation? 379 00:22:56,774 --> 00:22:57,816 No comment. 380 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,833 - The American public has a right to know. - Up, up, and away! 381 00:23:00,867 --> 00:23:02,982 You can't ignore the press. 382 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,371 Dixon! 383 00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,433 Dixon! 384 00:23:08,818 --> 00:23:10,271 Dixon! 385 00:23:11,448 --> 00:23:13,033 Dixon! 386 00:23:13,375 --> 00:23:16,067 Hey, guys, here's the song everybody's been asking for: 387 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:18,486 Ronny Desmond's "puberty love." 388 00:23:18,511 --> 00:23:22,227 ♪ puberty, puberty love ♪ 389 00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,346 Oh, wow, what is that? 390 00:23:24,441 --> 00:23:26,267 Oh, no! Don't tell me that's the song. 391 00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:28,167 Please, oh! Turn it off! 392 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,449 Oh, it's torture on the ears! I can't stand that noise! 393 00:23:39,567 --> 00:23:41,533 Quiet! I want to hear the news. 394 00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:43,533 And today, the president closed the nation's... 395 00:23:43,567 --> 00:23:46,818 last remaining sub base at Groton, Connecticut. 396 00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:49,986 When asked why he had made the startling decision... 397 00:23:50,011 --> 00:23:51,518 the President responded: 398 00:23:51,994 --> 00:23:55,600 "Those funny little black ships just keep sinking anyway." 399 00:23:56,109 --> 00:23:58,989 And in other news today, in Newark, New Jersey, 400 00:23:59,023 --> 00:24:02,800 a man was eaten by a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. 401 00:24:42,677 --> 00:24:44,743 You're free! 402 00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:22,867 Geronimo! 403 00:25:51,484 --> 00:25:52,484 Hmm. 404 00:25:53,341 --> 00:25:55,000 So you're Finletter, huh? 405 00:25:56,373 --> 00:25:57,708 I'm Mason Dixon, and this is... 406 00:25:57,733 --> 00:26:01,133 My god! It's Adolf Hitler! 407 00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:21,664 This is Sam Smith. 408 00:26:23,765 --> 00:26:26,574 He's our undercover expert. 409 00:26:27,828 --> 00:26:30,067 He's only disguised as Adolf Hitler. 410 00:26:31,514 --> 00:26:33,477 Guten morgen, herr Hitler. 411 00:26:33,502 --> 00:26:35,998 - Autobahn. - Sprechen ze deutche? 412 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,903 Weiner schnitzel. 413 00:26:41,704 --> 00:26:43,333 Get in the backseat! 414 00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:46,191 What about me, Mr. Dixon? What about me? 415 00:26:46,945 --> 00:26:48,367 You... 416 00:26:49,982 --> 00:26:51,077 You... 417 00:26:54,193 --> 00:26:58,177 You go disguise yourself as a tomato... 418 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,300 and infiltrate their camp. 419 00:27:35,712 --> 00:27:37,445 Yes. Thank you. 420 00:27:39,384 --> 00:27:41,854 - Hi. - Mr. Richardson to see Mr. Swann. 421 00:27:41,879 --> 00:27:43,667 Yes, sir. He's expecting you. 422 00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:44,856 I'll let him know you're here. 423 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:45,880 Please have a seat. 424 00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:49,967 Mr. Swann? 425 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,035 Mr. Richardson is here to see you. 426 00:27:54,355 --> 00:27:56,155 He'll be right with you. 427 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,563 Jimbo, buddy! How are ya? How you doin'? 428 00:28:01,588 --> 00:28:03,385 - Fine. I, uh... - Super, super. 429 00:28:03,410 --> 00:28:06,310 Hey, the president tells me you have a situation, Jimbo. 430 00:28:06,433 --> 00:28:09,594 Well, let me clue you: You boys have come to the right place. 431 00:28:09,619 --> 00:28:13,519 Let me give you a peek at mindmaker in action. 432 00:28:15,552 --> 00:28:18,633 First, we have to convince the little housewife out there... 433 00:28:18,667 --> 00:28:21,067 that the tomato which ate the family pet... 434 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:24,201 is not dangerous, no problem. 435 00:28:24,288 --> 00:28:26,767 Then we have to convince local authorities... 436 00:28:27,028 --> 00:28:29,633 that the thousands missing from rural communities... 437 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,937 were merely stranded during their... 438 00:28:31,962 --> 00:28:34,883 bicentennial pilgrimage to Philadelphia. 439 00:28:34,978 --> 00:28:36,386 No problem. 440 00:28:36,862 --> 00:28:40,161 Third, the president wants us to do this in such a way... 441 00:28:40,186 --> 00:28:43,631 that it can be covered up, and no one will know it ever happened. 442 00:28:43,656 --> 00:28:45,151 That's no problem. 443 00:28:45,277 --> 00:28:47,433 But then he wants us to do this... 444 00:28:47,467 --> 00:28:51,069 and convince 200 million Americans... 445 00:28:51,094 --> 00:28:54,500 that this disaster is actually a blessing. 446 00:28:55,216 --> 00:28:57,300 Now, that's a challenge. 447 00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:59,400 I understand what you're saying, Mr. Swann. 448 00:28:59,636 --> 00:29:01,867 The president is a very demanding person. 449 00:29:02,151 --> 00:29:04,725 Sometimes he expects the impossible. 450 00:29:04,964 --> 00:29:07,688 But I don't... I never said "impossible," Richardson. 451 00:29:07,713 --> 00:29:11,500 What I said was that it was a challenge. 452 00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:15,700 Man was put on this earth to meet challenges, my boy. 453 00:29:15,733 --> 00:29:17,633 You really think you can do it? 454 00:29:17,667 --> 00:29:20,533 Can I do it? Can I do it? 455 00:29:25,233 --> 00:29:28,340 ♪ Some sell, some buy, and only we know why ♪ 456 00:29:28,365 --> 00:29:32,573 ♪ the wrap is more important than the prize ♪ 457 00:29:32,833 --> 00:29:35,867 ♪ important decisions are made each day ♪ 458 00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:38,800 ♪ much too important for the plain folk to make ♪ 459 00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:40,500 ♪ they're always in a bind ♪ 460 00:29:40,533 --> 00:29:43,100 ♪ depend on us to help make up their mind ♪ 461 00:29:44,567 --> 00:29:47,733 ♪ red box, blue box, a red box and a blue box ♪ 462 00:29:47,767 --> 00:29:50,567 ♪ bright colors and a coupon on the side ♪ 463 00:29:52,267 --> 00:29:55,000 ♪ hard sell or soft sell, it's all the same ♪ 464 00:29:55,033 --> 00:29:57,933 ♪ millions of dollar bills are spent every day ♪ 465 00:29:57,967 --> 00:29:59,700 ♪ where do they all go? 466 00:29:59,725 --> 00:30:02,058 ♪ Mindmaker's here to run the show ♪ 467 00:30:06,819 --> 00:30:08,567 ♪ we sell cars and toys for girls and boys ♪ 468 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,009 ♪ and chairs and beds and shrunken heads ♪ 469 00:30:10,033 --> 00:30:12,767 ♪ sugar beets and baseball cleats and ice to eskimos ♪ 470 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,500 ♪ leeks and mink and boats that sink ♪ 471 00:30:14,533 --> 00:30:17,233 ♪ no matter what, we'll get it sold ♪ 472 00:30:18,346 --> 00:30:21,671 ♪ we'll use catchy jingles, snappy tunes and pretty girls with big balloons ♪ 473 00:30:21,704 --> 00:30:24,508 ♪ a little lie, a stretch of truth can turn the public's head ♪ 474 00:30:24,533 --> 00:30:27,067 ♪ there's TV types and ad execs and everyone's the best ♪ 475 00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:30,356 ♪ and yet 476 00:30:30,652 --> 00:30:33,233 ♪ they all look up 477 00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:36,404 ♪ to a single man 478 00:30:36,429 --> 00:30:39,829 ♪ and that one single man ♪ 479 00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:42,212 ♪ is... me! 480 00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:49,900 ♪ They sell, they buy, and only I know why ♪ 481 00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:52,667 ♪ the human mind is putty in my hands ♪ 482 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,433 ♪ important decisions are made each day ♪ 483 00:30:57,467 --> 00:31:00,200 ♪ much more important for the plain folk to make ♪ 484 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:01,733 ♪ they're always in a bind ♪ 485 00:31:01,758 --> 00:31:05,323 ♪ depend on me to help make up their mind ♪ 486 00:31:06,101 --> 00:31:08,067 ♪ decision-wise 487 00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,500 ♪ policy-wise, demographically speaking ♪ 488 00:31:11,533 --> 00:31:14,467 ♪ mindmaker! 489 00:31:14,650 --> 00:31:18,133 Well, let's go meet that challenge, young man. 490 00:31:18,384 --> 00:31:20,180 I've already put my staff to work... 491 00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:22,173 so if you'd be good enough to stop by in the morning... 492 00:31:22,197 --> 00:31:25,164 we can take a look-see at some of the preliminary sketches. 493 00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:28,768 Roll it. 494 00:31:29,112 --> 00:31:31,738 Then I can tell the president you'll accept the assignment. 495 00:31:32,931 --> 00:31:34,842 You bet your booties. 496 00:31:35,246 --> 00:31:39,198 Traffic cops all over the country meet this challenge day to day. 497 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:43,367 This man is like any other policeman anywhere in the country. 498 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,322 He works hard and takes pride in serving people. 499 00:31:46,369 --> 00:31:48,774 Yes, he's a policeman just like any other... 500 00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:52,606 except for one thing: He is blind. 501 00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:58,700 This has been a public service announcement... 502 00:31:58,733 --> 00:32:01,333 produced for the national health foundation. 503 00:32:12,567 --> 00:32:15,733 Sir, I really don't think this is a good place to camp. 504 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:18,000 We're not sleeping on the sidewalk. 505 00:32:18,579 --> 00:32:20,582 Do you see that big building over there? 506 00:32:20,804 --> 00:32:22,355 It's called a hotel. 507 00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:25,022 You and I are going to sleep in the hotel. 508 00:32:25,067 --> 00:32:26,916 No campfire, sir? 509 00:32:27,225 --> 00:32:28,537 No campfire. 510 00:32:28,653 --> 00:32:31,547 Well, then, what am I supposed to do with these marshmallows? 511 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,874 Here's the key to my room. I'm gonna check for messages. 512 00:32:58,899 --> 00:33:00,987 - Be up in a minute. - Yes, sir. 513 00:33:11,867 --> 00:33:12,971 Pardon me. 514 00:33:12,996 --> 00:33:16,733 Do you have any messages for Mason Dixon in room 401? 515 00:33:52,667 --> 00:33:53,900 Excuse me. 516 00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,133 May I have the key to room 401? 517 00:33:56,167 --> 00:33:58,800 I... I seem to have misplaced mine. 518 00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:04,108 Thank you. 519 00:34:05,587 --> 00:34:07,177 Pray-Tel records presents... 520 00:34:07,202 --> 00:34:09,200 21 great dead beats. 521 00:34:09,233 --> 00:34:11,533 You get the best of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, 522 00:34:11,567 --> 00:34:13,533 Otis Redding, Buddy Holly, Jim Croce... 523 00:34:17,396 --> 00:34:20,454 It's the evening news with Charles Collingsmith... 524 00:34:20,922 --> 00:34:22,772 Turn that thing off, will ya? 525 00:34:22,829 --> 00:34:24,796 Let's get some sleep. 526 00:34:25,742 --> 00:34:27,101 Marshmallow? 527 00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:16,938 Oh. I'm... I'm terribly sorry. 528 00:35:16,963 --> 00:35:19,433 I-I mean, I thought this was my... 529 00:35:19,467 --> 00:35:20,912 Really. You know. 530 00:35:21,674 --> 00:35:23,031 What was that? 531 00:35:23,105 --> 00:35:25,862 - A strumpet, sir. - A what? 532 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:29,700 A harlot. A trollop. A lady of the evening. 533 00:35:29,923 --> 00:35:32,423 Go to sleep, finletter! 534 00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,333 Hmm? 535 00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:02,466 Wh-what? 536 00:36:03,392 --> 00:36:04,453 Where? 537 00:36:05,881 --> 00:36:07,433 I'll be right there. 538 00:36:12,694 --> 00:36:14,804 - Breakfast, sir. - No time! 539 00:36:14,829 --> 00:36:17,733 - But... your vitamins. - No time! 540 00:36:18,404 --> 00:36:19,867 Now, listen. This is important. 541 00:36:20,126 --> 00:36:21,543 You've got to go down and warn Gretta... 542 00:36:21,567 --> 00:36:23,667 that there's tomato activity in sector 2. 543 00:36:23,692 --> 00:36:26,167 You got that? No matter what happens, you tell her. 544 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,833 - Yes, sir. - We interrupt this program... 545 00:36:27,867 --> 00:36:29,733 to bring you a special bulletin. 546 00:36:29,758 --> 00:36:32,658 The following is an NBS hotline bulletin... 547 00:36:32,692 --> 00:36:35,225 with Douglas Keikler in New York. 548 00:36:35,461 --> 00:36:37,767 NBS... the network that brings you... 549 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,700 the news as it happens... 550 00:36:39,733 --> 00:36:42,601 brings you these bulletins in times of emergency... 551 00:36:42,663 --> 00:36:45,338 the news you need to know when you need to know it... 552 00:36:45,363 --> 00:36:49,667 on NBS, the network of the news. 553 00:36:50,015 --> 00:36:52,333 This NBS news hotline bulletin... 554 00:36:52,367 --> 00:36:55,033 is brought to you by Schritz Beer. 555 00:36:55,292 --> 00:36:58,200 You're never too drunk to ask for Schritz. 556 00:36:58,295 --> 00:37:01,249 And by Bright Gums, the toothpaste... 557 00:37:01,274 --> 00:37:04,459 for people without teeth or dentures. 558 00:37:04,783 --> 00:37:06,217 And by... 559 00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:32,933 What is it, Spot? What's in there? 560 00:37:32,967 --> 00:37:34,967 Gosh, Billy, i don't know. 561 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,967 You stay there. I'll go look. 562 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,367 Spot? Spot? 563 00:38:01,916 --> 00:38:05,067 - What are those red circles, sir? - Machine gun emplacements. 564 00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:07,067 We've got the whole valley surrounded with them. 565 00:38:07,267 --> 00:38:09,197 I don't think we can hold them very long, though. 566 00:38:09,222 --> 00:38:12,106 And that green line, that's their furthest point of advance? 567 00:38:12,131 --> 00:38:13,920 - That's right. - Uh-huh. 568 00:38:13,945 --> 00:38:15,253 What are the blue dots? 569 00:38:15,278 --> 00:38:16,903 Those are mobil stations. 570 00:38:17,533 --> 00:38:18,288 Oh. 571 00:38:20,156 --> 00:38:21,900 That must be major mills. 572 00:38:21,933 --> 00:38:23,633 - Take over. - Yes, sir! 573 00:38:28,952 --> 00:38:30,413 I'm glad you could make it, sir. 574 00:38:30,438 --> 00:38:32,103 I think we've got something that will interest you. 575 00:38:32,219 --> 00:38:33,228 So I've been told. 576 00:38:33,467 --> 00:38:35,267 Dixon, I want you to see this. 577 00:38:35,490 --> 00:38:36,466 Captain? 578 00:38:36,892 --> 00:38:37,736 Yes, sir. 579 00:38:52,540 --> 00:38:53,429 Sir... 580 00:38:53,700 --> 00:38:56,200 we've captured a giant tomato. 581 00:39:10,203 --> 00:39:13,115 I'm afraid, gentlemen, that what we have here before us... 582 00:39:14,747 --> 00:39:16,057 isn't what we thought. 583 00:39:16,288 --> 00:39:17,429 You don't mean... 584 00:39:18,405 --> 00:39:19,131 This... 585 00:39:20,083 --> 00:39:21,654 may god help us... 586 00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,139 is a cherry tomato. 587 00:41:03,045 --> 00:41:05,165 Mr. Dixon has ordered me to inform you... 588 00:41:05,190 --> 00:41:07,233 that there's tomato activity in your sector. 589 00:41:31,252 --> 00:41:34,435 All right, who wants to be paper monitor? 590 00:41:39,473 --> 00:41:42,250 I'm telling you, J.B., it's a great idea. 591 00:41:42,275 --> 00:41:45,133 The first adult breakfast cereal: 592 00:41:45,317 --> 00:41:47,233 Kinky crispies. 593 00:41:47,517 --> 00:41:49,749 Comes in three delicious flavors... 594 00:41:49,774 --> 00:41:51,920 Good afternoon, Mr. Swann. 595 00:41:53,047 --> 00:41:55,767 I'll call you back, J.B. Bye. 596 00:41:56,169 --> 00:41:58,328 Jimbo! How's it going? 597 00:41:58,353 --> 00:42:00,267 I believe that's my question. 598 00:42:00,698 --> 00:42:03,525 Right. Fun-NY! 599 00:42:04,049 --> 00:42:06,703 Well, let me tell you, we've been going great bananas. 600 00:42:07,196 --> 00:42:09,367 Sit down, make yourself comfortable. 601 00:42:09,857 --> 00:42:12,583 I asked myself, "what do we need"? 602 00:42:12,837 --> 00:42:14,375 "Something original... 603 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,349 something that strikes at the very heart of the matter." 604 00:42:17,374 --> 00:42:19,292 And here it is! 605 00:42:20,467 --> 00:42:23,233 Mindmaker at its best! 606 00:42:23,267 --> 00:42:25,267 Who can argue with that? 607 00:42:31,366 --> 00:42:33,766 And there's more. Listen to this. 608 00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:41,200 Giant tomatoes mean bigger pizzas! 609 00:42:41,233 --> 00:42:44,767 - Rolling on 2. - ♪ if you're feeling sad and blue ♪ 610 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,255 ♪ tomatoes end it all for you ♪ 611 00:42:47,679 --> 00:42:50,145 last year, more people were killed... 612 00:42:50,267 --> 00:42:53,533 by automobile accidents, heart attacks... 613 00:42:53,567 --> 00:42:56,518 lung cancer, and natural causes combined... 614 00:42:56,621 --> 00:42:58,482 than by any one tomato. 615 00:42:59,013 --> 00:43:00,567 Pretty classy, huh? 616 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:01,947 With a capital "K." 617 00:43:01,972 --> 00:43:03,907 Right. And Mr. Secretary, 618 00:43:03,932 --> 00:43:06,249 being a public relations man yourself... 619 00:43:06,274 --> 00:43:09,029 you understand the value of symbols. 620 00:43:09,199 --> 00:43:12,766 Well, we have spent a great deal of time and effort... 621 00:43:12,791 --> 00:43:16,983 and over a million dollars to create a symbol which will wage this battle... 622 00:43:17,076 --> 00:43:19,470 an effort that will become known as... 623 00:43:19,495 --> 00:43:22,330 the "stop tomato program." 624 00:43:23,445 --> 00:43:24,572 I see. 625 00:43:24,893 --> 00:43:27,718 It all looks quite... Extraordinary. 626 00:43:27,749 --> 00:43:28,970 Thank you. 627 00:43:29,010 --> 00:43:31,928 Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll be on my way. 628 00:43:31,953 --> 00:43:33,541 Just a moment. One more thing... 629 00:43:33,566 --> 00:43:35,100 before you leave, Mr. Secretary. 630 00:43:35,133 --> 00:43:37,021 I'd really like you to see this. 631 00:43:37,046 --> 00:43:39,930 It's something I've worked on for many years... 632 00:43:39,955 --> 00:43:43,467 the culmination of years of effort: 633 00:43:43,812 --> 00:43:46,843 The world's ultimate commercial. 634 00:43:46,918 --> 00:43:48,177 Roll it. 635 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:53,920 Hi. 636 00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:56,627 Jesus Christ for Technitron. 637 00:44:14,966 --> 00:44:16,433 The nation is in chaos. 638 00:44:16,467 --> 00:44:19,019 Can nothing stop this tomato onslaught? 639 00:44:19,044 --> 00:44:21,503 Last night, tomatoes attacked Los Angeles... 640 00:44:23,233 --> 00:44:24,433 Boston. 641 00:44:26,125 --> 00:44:27,558 Seattle. 642 00:44:29,631 --> 00:44:30,911 Chicago. 643 00:44:32,718 --> 00:44:34,500 Even the mere mention of the word... 644 00:44:34,533 --> 00:44:37,500 is sufficient to induce panic. 645 00:44:44,188 --> 00:44:45,722 Tomato. 646 00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,638 More news at the hour. 647 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:03,657 Now back to the rocking sound of the boober on super 101. 648 00:45:03,682 --> 00:45:06,385 All right! Man, that's really something, huh? 649 00:45:06,894 --> 00:45:10,294 Hey, everybody, I'm gonna play something... 650 00:45:11,502 --> 00:45:12,343 That's right, man. 651 00:45:12,368 --> 00:45:14,100 It's number one in the charts this week... 652 00:45:14,133 --> 00:45:17,118 The heavy sound of Ronny Desmond's "Puberty Love." 653 00:45:17,189 --> 00:45:18,824 ♪ Puberty 654 00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:21,073 ♪ puberty love 655 00:45:21,513 --> 00:45:25,313 ♪ there is nothing like puberty love ♪ 656 00:45:46,867 --> 00:45:49,759 While the federal agencies involved have declared... 657 00:45:49,784 --> 00:45:52,548 that the necessary information has not been forwarded... 658 00:45:52,588 --> 00:45:55,959 to state agencies for their respective review and approval... 659 00:45:56,205 --> 00:45:58,333 we cannot ignore local pleas... 660 00:45:58,358 --> 00:45:59,999 for inter-governmental cooperation... 661 00:46:00,024 --> 00:46:02,167 in what is obviously an affair... 662 00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,887 best suited for international actions. 663 00:46:05,353 --> 00:46:08,161 This is a question best left to people... 664 00:46:08,401 --> 00:46:11,100 for whom there is no spokesman greater... 665 00:46:11,507 --> 00:46:13,983 than those who speak... 666 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:28,300 And then I put my foot to the floor... 667 00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:30,715 and I got out of there as fast as I could. 668 00:46:31,153 --> 00:46:32,964 It was all very strange. 669 00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:34,421 I... I just don't know what to think. 670 00:46:34,445 --> 00:46:37,326 You made no unusual motions of any kind? 671 00:46:37,869 --> 00:46:39,448 Not to my knowledge. 672 00:46:39,828 --> 00:46:40,828 Odd. 673 00:46:41,350 --> 00:46:44,217 Were there any loud noises or other extraneous activity... 674 00:46:44,242 --> 00:46:47,601 which might have affected the tomatoes' behavior, such as... 675 00:46:47,814 --> 00:46:50,499 an airplane or another car in the vicinity? 676 00:46:50,524 --> 00:46:52,367 I'm almost sure there wasn't. 677 00:46:52,932 --> 00:46:54,467 If you'll excuse me, gentlemen... 678 00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:56,404 I really have to be getting back to Washington. 679 00:46:56,429 --> 00:46:58,589 That's fine. Give my regards to the president. 680 00:46:58,614 --> 00:47:01,480 - I'll do that, captain. - It's "major." 681 00:47:01,867 --> 00:47:02,944 Of course. 682 00:47:03,728 --> 00:47:06,438 Priority-one message for Mr. Dixon, sir. 683 00:47:07,649 --> 00:47:10,233 - A phone call for you. - Oh, thank you. 684 00:47:10,258 --> 00:47:12,453 I'll need one of those for my records too. 685 00:47:12,653 --> 00:47:14,288 I'll need one for my files. 686 00:47:14,313 --> 00:47:16,280 And don't forget the major. 687 00:47:52,667 --> 00:47:54,342 - Yeah? - Trouble, sir. 688 00:47:54,367 --> 00:47:55,927 - Hello? - Trouble, sir. 689 00:47:55,952 --> 00:47:56,952 What? 690 00:47:57,111 --> 00:47:59,411 I haven't seen Dixon all day. 691 00:47:59,625 --> 00:48:02,577 I've been following his assistant, but that's getting me nowhere. 692 00:48:02,602 --> 00:48:04,985 - "Followed"? By who? - Following who? 693 00:48:05,067 --> 00:48:06,867 - His assistant. - A spy. 694 00:48:06,900 --> 00:48:08,733 - A spy? - That's right. 695 00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:09,933 Well, what's he look like? 696 00:48:09,967 --> 00:48:11,706 Medium height, medium build. 697 00:48:11,731 --> 00:48:12,768 It's a "she," sir. 698 00:48:13,082 --> 00:48:14,759 You know, the strumpet last night. 699 00:48:14,813 --> 00:48:16,850 - The one with the big... - Guns and a sword... 700 00:48:16,875 --> 00:48:18,408 - With long, blonde... - Parachute... 701 00:48:18,433 --> 00:48:20,200 - Sunglasses... - Combat boots... 702 00:48:20,233 --> 00:48:22,767 - And a dress. - Nothing suspicious about that. 703 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,627 - You can't be serious. - What shall I do? 704 00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:29,067 Look, I thought I made it perfectly clear. 705 00:48:29,433 --> 00:48:31,895 I don't think you've made use of all your potential... 706 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:32,900 if you know what I mean. 707 00:48:32,933 --> 00:48:35,000 Look, you're obviously tired. 708 00:48:35,137 --> 00:48:36,800 Why don't you go take a nap? 709 00:48:36,833 --> 00:48:40,000 - You mean, go to bed? - I couldn't do that! 710 00:48:40,033 --> 00:48:43,033 - Why not? You're a woman. - I resent that. 711 00:48:43,067 --> 00:48:45,400 I didn't say that you were incompetent. 712 00:48:45,424 --> 00:48:48,117 I just think you could use a rest. 713 00:48:48,340 --> 00:48:50,631 Yes, sir. But I... 714 00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:54,133 Well, I'll do my best, sir. 715 00:48:54,684 --> 00:48:56,700 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 716 00:48:56,733 --> 00:48:57,733 Goodbye. 717 00:49:02,128 --> 00:49:03,128 Operator? 718 00:49:03,656 --> 00:49:04,992 Operator, I, uh... 719 00:49:05,017 --> 00:49:08,172 I've gotten a wrong number. I'd like my dime back. 720 00:49:21,950 --> 00:49:23,267 Hi, there. 721 00:49:25,109 --> 00:49:27,819 - Hello. - Listen, about last night. 722 00:49:27,844 --> 00:49:30,951 It was an accident. I really didn't mean... 723 00:49:31,157 --> 00:49:32,967 It was a dark night. I mean... 724 00:49:33,333 --> 00:49:35,933 the lights were off, and it got dark. 725 00:49:36,613 --> 00:49:38,196 I mean, it was dark... 726 00:49:39,370 --> 00:49:40,483 and it was light earlier. 727 00:49:40,508 --> 00:49:41,843 You want to go to bed? 728 00:49:42,464 --> 00:49:44,067 Uh, excuse me, ma'am? 729 00:49:44,162 --> 00:49:46,233 - Uh... - I've got to go to bed. 730 00:50:44,582 --> 00:50:47,267 I don't think you've made use of all your potential... 731 00:50:47,300 --> 00:50:48,185 if you know what I mean. 732 00:50:48,210 --> 00:50:51,077 All your potential. Potential. Potential. Potential. 733 00:51:18,874 --> 00:51:19,933 I, uh... 734 00:51:23,198 --> 00:51:25,340 I was right. I was right! 735 00:51:25,782 --> 00:51:27,325 A spy! 736 00:52:17,083 --> 00:52:18,516 Did you warn Gretta? 737 00:52:18,899 --> 00:52:22,933 Uh, yes, sir, but she was already dead. 738 00:52:23,490 --> 00:52:24,658 It figures. 739 00:52:57,296 --> 00:52:59,896 Attention. Attention. 740 00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,200 The 56th combat support group... 741 00:53:02,225 --> 00:53:04,158 will depart at 0900 hours. 742 00:53:04,286 --> 00:53:08,419 All 3rd division personnel report to the 5th division staging area. 743 00:53:08,579 --> 00:53:10,646 All 5th division personnel report to... 744 00:53:10,671 --> 00:53:12,705 the 3rd division staging area. 745 00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:15,624 Will the driver of tank 38421... 746 00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,587 please go to the parking lot? 747 00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:19,512 Your lights are on. 748 00:53:24,568 --> 00:53:26,374 Had a few setbacks during the night. 749 00:53:26,399 --> 00:53:27,399 Serious? 750 00:53:27,429 --> 00:53:28,930 Well, it depends on your point of view. 751 00:53:28,954 --> 00:53:30,967 Did you have any relatives in Wyoming? 752 00:53:31,263 --> 00:53:32,292 Say again? 753 00:53:33,017 --> 00:53:34,917 "Arkansas"? Are you sure? 754 00:53:37,653 --> 00:53:39,186 Arkansas. 755 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,053 What's the situation? 756 00:53:45,975 --> 00:53:47,943 Prime intelligence tells us... 757 00:53:48,014 --> 00:53:49,673 that the tomatoes are amassing for a final... 758 00:53:49,698 --> 00:53:51,220 all-out attack on the nation. 759 00:53:51,555 --> 00:53:52,774 Our top brass... 760 00:53:52,799 --> 00:53:55,279 wants us to concentrate our forces here on the coast. 761 00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:57,658 If we can hold them here, we can win. 762 00:53:58,161 --> 00:53:59,026 If not... 763 00:53:59,051 --> 00:54:00,393 Is there anything i can do, major? 764 00:54:00,534 --> 00:54:02,834 Yes. The President wants your personal report. 765 00:54:02,908 --> 00:54:05,508 Call him on the red line at 1100 hours. 766 00:54:05,652 --> 00:54:06,925 Be back here tonight. 767 00:54:07,257 --> 00:54:09,257 We'll need every man we can get. 768 00:54:09,464 --> 00:54:11,404 Damn it, Dixon, this is war! 769 00:54:11,586 --> 00:54:12,618 Very good, sir. 770 00:54:21,245 --> 00:54:21,990 Sir, I... 771 00:54:22,015 --> 00:54:23,402 I think somebody's shooting at you. 772 00:54:23,571 --> 00:54:25,216 Where do you think... 773 00:56:09,943 --> 00:56:11,443 So you can see, Mr. Dixon... 774 00:56:11,541 --> 00:56:14,174 we have no choice but to make our stand out west. 775 00:56:14,199 --> 00:56:15,699 And I want you to make sure... 776 00:56:15,790 --> 00:56:17,821 that our military people out there... 777 00:56:17,846 --> 00:56:19,608 in that region understand and are aware... 778 00:56:19,633 --> 00:56:21,635 of their enormous responsibility. 779 00:56:21,933 --> 00:56:23,733 I'm sure they are,Mr. President. 780 00:56:24,004 --> 00:56:26,540 By the way, have you seen Jim Richardson out there? 781 00:56:26,567 --> 00:56:29,422 Just briefly. How's the ad campaign going? 782 00:56:29,447 --> 00:56:31,377 Excellent. My mail's running... 783 00:56:31,402 --> 00:56:33,562 30 to 1 in favor of the tomatoes. 784 00:56:34,167 --> 00:56:35,413 Terrific. 785 00:56:35,789 --> 00:56:37,677 Oh, God, i almost forgot. 786 00:56:37,979 --> 00:56:39,845 - Shirley? - Yes, sir? 787 00:56:40,149 --> 00:56:42,325 I want you to get general Mitchell on the line. 788 00:56:42,367 --> 00:56:44,648 Tell him to bomb New York City. 789 00:56:45,127 --> 00:56:46,349 But, Mr. President... 790 00:56:46,374 --> 00:56:49,074 the tomatoes are not even close to New York City. 791 00:56:49,190 --> 00:56:51,246 Listen, you worry about your problems... 792 00:56:51,271 --> 00:56:52,595 and I'll worry about mine. 793 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,164 Yes, sir. 794 00:57:00,672 --> 00:57:02,438 - Is that the last pen? - Yes, sir. 795 00:57:02,519 --> 00:57:04,319 Thank god. 796 00:57:16,721 --> 00:57:19,069 Hey, will somebody please pass the ketchup? 797 00:57:29,253 --> 00:57:30,787 As you were. 798 00:57:30,812 --> 00:57:32,379 Order, arms. 799 00:57:36,685 --> 00:57:38,106 The men look ready, major. 800 00:57:38,242 --> 00:57:40,076 As ready as they'll ever be, Dixon. 801 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,386 You know, Dixon... 802 00:57:43,411 --> 00:57:45,977 a man stops to think at a time like this... 803 00:57:46,115 --> 00:57:47,363 about his home... 804 00:57:47,802 --> 00:57:50,468 his wife, his kids. 805 00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:53,300 - You married, major? - No. 806 00:57:53,567 --> 00:57:54,567 Me either. 807 00:57:55,816 --> 00:57:59,267 I wonder what the tomatoes are thinking about right now. 808 00:58:38,175 --> 00:58:40,667 ♪ We stopped 809 00:58:40,692 --> 00:58:45,225 ♪ the Germans in '45 810 00:58:45,309 --> 00:58:47,709 ♪ then we crushed 811 00:58:47,751 --> 00:58:52,423 - ♪ the Viet Cong - ♪ almost 812 00:58:52,448 --> 00:58:55,800 ♪ for a greater glory 813 00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:59,333 ♪ we could never strive ♪ 814 00:58:59,467 --> 00:59:02,054 ♪ this crop uprising 815 00:59:02,079 --> 00:59:06,187 ♪ will not last long 816 00:59:09,433 --> 00:59:12,333 ♪ ain't no time to make a fuss ♪ 817 00:59:12,367 --> 00:59:14,500 ♪ we got to get those tomatoes ♪ 818 00:59:14,533 --> 00:59:16,083 ♪ before they get us 819 00:59:16,107 --> 00:59:19,705 ♪ we're gonna beat 'em, mash 'em, squish 'em, bash 'em in the street ♪ 820 00:59:19,730 --> 00:59:23,271 ♪ we're gonna kick 'em, kick 'em, mush 'em, crush 'em with our feet ♪ 821 00:59:23,296 --> 00:59:25,715 ♪ we're gonna meet them, munch them, 822 00:59:25,740 --> 00:59:28,395 crunch them, gonna stomp 'em in place ♪ 823 00:59:28,420 --> 00:59:30,908 - Yeah. - Yeah. 824 00:59:30,933 --> 00:59:33,997 ♪ T-o-m-a-t 825 00:59:34,022 --> 00:59:37,477 ♪ o-e-s tomatoes ♪ 826 00:59:37,502 --> 00:59:41,069 ♪ we'll squish them, we'll mash them ♪ 827 00:59:41,113 --> 00:59:44,571 ♪ we'll mush them we'll crush them ♪ 828 00:59:45,259 --> 00:59:48,465 ♪ we stopped to negotiate at the first attack ♪ 829 00:59:48,794 --> 00:59:51,881 ♪ we gave'em Alabama but they gave it right back ♪ 830 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:55,500 ♪ tomatoes, tomatoes 831 00:59:55,985 --> 00:59:57,652 ♪ tomatoes 832 00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:02,685 ♪ they said we'd live together like sister and brother ♪ 833 01:00:02,710 --> 01:00:06,460 ♪ but they captured a cannery and bottled my mother ♪ 834 01:00:06,485 --> 01:00:09,600 ♪ now she's at the store and they'll soon be back for more ♪ 835 01:00:09,633 --> 01:00:11,301 ♪ those tomatoes 836 01:00:11,844 --> 01:00:13,063 ♪ tomatoes 837 01:01:31,367 --> 01:01:33,667 Across the length and breadth of the nation... 838 01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:36,493 the tomatoes continue on their rampage... 839 01:01:36,518 --> 01:01:38,172 of wanton destruction... 840 01:01:38,406 --> 01:01:39,537 Burning. 841 01:01:40,147 --> 01:01:41,385 Pillaging. 842 01:01:42,658 --> 01:01:43,794 Raping. 843 01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,763 Let's shoot it from over there, huh, Bill? 844 01:02:00,911 --> 01:02:02,093 Come on over here, lady. 845 01:02:02,118 --> 01:02:03,758 Stand by over here for just a minute, huh? 846 01:02:03,941 --> 01:02:05,355 Okay, don't go away. 847 01:02:06,326 --> 01:02:08,483 We start with a tight shot, huh, Bill? 848 01:02:08,818 --> 01:02:10,207 Tell me when you're ready. 849 01:02:10,610 --> 01:02:11,610 Don't run off. 850 01:02:15,718 --> 01:02:18,669 Across this great nation, almost everyone has been affected... 851 01:02:18,694 --> 01:02:21,131 in one way or another by this terrible tomato onslaught. 852 01:02:21,156 --> 01:02:23,342 Mrs. Williams, I understand your husband is missing. 853 01:02:23,453 --> 01:02:24,638 - Yes, he is. - Do you think he's dead? 854 01:02:24,662 --> 01:02:25,942 - Well, I... - Will you miss him? 855 01:02:26,344 --> 01:02:27,617 Will you marry again? 856 01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,633 What if he's laying in a ditch somewhere... 857 01:02:29,667 --> 01:02:31,567 with both legs broken, calling your name? 858 01:02:31,592 --> 01:02:32,107 Stop! 859 01:02:32,132 --> 01:02:34,307 You will have to find another man, you know. 860 01:02:34,332 --> 01:02:35,575 You're no spring chicken. 861 01:02:35,831 --> 01:02:37,698 What are you going to do, Mrs. Williams? 862 01:02:38,678 --> 01:02:40,233 Can you answer my quest... 863 01:02:40,488 --> 01:02:42,086 Please look into the camera. 864 01:02:42,111 --> 01:02:43,530 Get away from me! 865 01:02:45,653 --> 01:02:48,120 Last night's crushing military defeat 866 01:02:48,145 --> 01:02:50,300 may spell the end for humanity. 867 01:02:50,595 --> 01:02:53,665 The shattered remnants of a once-proud civilization... 868 01:02:53,690 --> 01:02:57,361 lay scattered amongst crushed spirits and broken bodies. 869 01:02:57,544 --> 01:03:00,828 Lawlessness is rampant, panic stalks the streets, 870 01:03:01,025 --> 01:03:02,540 and personal grooming habits... 871 01:03:02,567 --> 01:03:04,967 have reached an all-time low. 872 01:04:36,834 --> 01:04:38,867 I'll tell you now what's coming up... 873 01:04:38,892 --> 01:04:41,841 It's the song that's sweeping the country, number one all over... 874 01:04:41,866 --> 01:04:45,078 from the west coast to the east coast, every coast in between... 875 01:04:45,103 --> 01:04:45,766 Yeah, that's right. 876 01:04:45,791 --> 01:04:47,657 You've been asking for it, you've been waiting for it. 877 01:04:47,681 --> 01:04:51,315 Here it is, boys and gals, it's Ronny Desmond's "Puberty Love"! 878 01:04:51,370 --> 01:04:54,438 ♪ Puberty, puberty love ♪ 879 01:04:56,105 --> 01:04:59,867 ♪ there is nothing like puberty love ♪ 880 01:05:00,334 --> 01:05:02,033 ♪ it's so deep 881 01:05:02,519 --> 01:05:04,533 ♪ it's so cool 882 01:05:31,498 --> 01:05:34,431 Get out of the car! Hurry up, move! 883 01:06:54,053 --> 01:06:55,145 Hey! 884 01:07:00,048 --> 01:07:02,333 - Sir? Sir? - What? 885 01:07:02,367 --> 01:07:05,337 - Sir! Sir! - I'm driving! 886 01:07:10,367 --> 01:07:12,667 There's something wrong with the car! 887 01:07:12,700 --> 01:07:14,405 We'll get them, Finletter! 888 01:07:14,430 --> 01:07:18,396 - We can catch it, sir! - Don't worry! 889 01:07:52,539 --> 01:07:53,875 Freeze! 890 01:08:12,900 --> 01:08:14,859 Good afternoon, Mr. Dixon. 891 01:08:15,399 --> 01:08:16,859 Had a pleasant nap? 892 01:08:17,700 --> 01:08:20,481 Richardson. I'm not surprised. 893 01:08:21,675 --> 01:08:22,600 Mr. Dixon... 894 01:08:22,633 --> 01:08:24,908 I didn't really think you would be. 895 01:08:25,467 --> 01:08:27,035 That's why you're here. 896 01:08:27,752 --> 01:08:29,367 What do you intend to do with me? 897 01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,993 Mr. Dixon, don't be so naive. 898 01:08:32,353 --> 01:08:35,861 You are the only one with the knowledge that can stop me. 899 01:08:36,397 --> 01:08:38,343 Don't be a fool, Richardson. You don't have a chance. 900 01:08:38,367 --> 01:08:40,932 You know very well I do. 901 01:08:42,403 --> 01:08:43,403 You know... 902 01:08:44,786 --> 01:08:46,738 It's funny, Dixon. 903 01:08:49,721 --> 01:08:52,632 No man sits closer to power... 904 01:08:52,657 --> 01:08:56,444 than the Press Secretary to the President of the United States. 905 01:08:58,098 --> 01:09:00,131 And yet as close as it is... 906 01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:04,244 that power is never really within your grasp. 907 01:09:04,567 --> 01:09:06,738 It dangles before you... 908 01:09:07,112 --> 01:09:09,397 taunting, daring... 909 01:09:10,048 --> 01:09:11,702 mocking your very impotence. 910 01:09:11,727 --> 01:09:14,627 I will not be mocked anymore! 911 01:09:15,173 --> 01:09:16,886 I will no longer give... 912 01:09:17,179 --> 01:09:20,717 other people's answers to other people's questions. 913 01:09:21,723 --> 01:09:23,754 The answers will be mine. 914 01:09:24,403 --> 01:09:26,726 The questions will be mine. 915 01:09:27,762 --> 01:09:29,969 Everything will be mine. 916 01:09:31,271 --> 01:09:33,759 It'll be glorious, Dixon. 917 01:09:34,006 --> 01:09:36,673 It's too bad you won't be around to see it. 918 01:09:37,359 --> 01:09:39,145 What makes you think that you can... 919 01:09:39,210 --> 01:09:42,744 control these tomatoes better than anyone else? 920 01:09:44,063 --> 01:09:45,467 Questions, questions. 921 01:09:45,500 --> 01:09:47,206 You missed your calling. 922 01:09:49,006 --> 01:09:52,530 Mr. Dixon, have you had lunch yet? 923 01:09:53,434 --> 01:09:56,122 Here. Have a tomato. 924 01:09:57,384 --> 01:09:58,767 Don't be afraid. 925 01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:01,767 It's really quite small and quite harmless. 926 01:10:02,601 --> 01:10:04,112 It's from my garden. 927 01:10:06,957 --> 01:10:08,985 You might say that I'm... 928 01:10:09,700 --> 01:10:12,700 In tune with my tomatoes. 929 01:10:17,901 --> 01:10:19,305 At the proper time... 930 01:10:19,330 --> 01:10:24,167 when all vestiges of authority have disappeared... 931 01:10:24,326 --> 01:10:26,733 I shall charge in on my white stallion... 932 01:10:26,767 --> 01:10:28,380 and save the nation... 933 01:10:28,731 --> 01:10:30,459 or what's left of it. 934 01:10:31,471 --> 01:10:34,939 My fellow citizens will be eternally grateful. 935 01:10:35,452 --> 01:10:37,600 At the very least, they'll surely choose... 936 01:10:37,633 --> 01:10:39,700 my benevolent leadership... 937 01:10:39,733 --> 01:10:42,500 over the obvious alternative. 938 01:10:44,812 --> 01:10:47,279 It shall be my Golden moment. 939 01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,257 But, Mr. Dixon... 940 01:10:53,575 --> 01:10:56,333 I'm afraid these are your final moments. 941 01:10:56,967 --> 01:10:59,636 You're awfully confident for a man who has failed twice. 942 01:11:00,287 --> 01:11:03,467 Three times, but who's counting? 943 01:11:04,051 --> 01:11:05,640 I don't think you can do it. 944 01:11:06,488 --> 01:11:08,833 You know, Dixon, you may be right. 945 01:11:09,301 --> 01:11:11,748 I've never killed a man before. 946 01:11:12,544 --> 01:11:14,610 You may be right. 947 01:11:18,791 --> 01:11:19,900 Who's there? 948 01:11:19,933 --> 01:11:22,228 U.P.S. package for you. 949 01:11:25,747 --> 01:11:27,314 Come in. 950 01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:41,606 Then again... 951 01:11:42,577 --> 01:11:45,410 - you may be wrong. - Wait. 952 01:11:47,228 --> 01:11:48,873 Before you pull that trigger... 953 01:11:49,813 --> 01:11:51,267 tell me how you do it. 954 01:11:51,836 --> 01:11:52,967 Really. 955 01:11:54,180 --> 01:11:56,080 How melodramatic. 956 01:11:57,393 --> 01:12:00,253 Very well. It's really quite simple. 957 01:12:00,557 --> 01:12:02,705 You see, all I do is... 958 01:12:11,174 --> 01:12:12,824 A real bad apple, sir. 959 01:12:13,007 --> 01:12:15,086 It's a good thing we got him. 960 01:12:44,521 --> 01:12:46,587 Finletter! Finletter! 961 01:12:47,055 --> 01:12:49,451 We've got to round up everybody in the city. You got that? 962 01:12:49,476 --> 01:12:51,819 And meet me in the stadium. There's no time to lose. 963 01:12:51,844 --> 01:12:53,767 But, sir, everybody's left town. 964 01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:55,277 The only people left will be crazy people. 965 01:12:55,301 --> 01:12:57,868 I don't care! Just do it! Move! 966 01:12:58,190 --> 01:12:59,190 Sir... 967 01:13:20,667 --> 01:13:22,494 Then it's unanimously agreed... 968 01:13:22,519 --> 01:13:24,300 that the committee recommend... 969 01:13:24,333 --> 01:13:27,167 that no further action will be taken at this time. 970 01:14:24,217 --> 01:14:25,704 I've got it! 971 01:14:27,123 --> 01:14:29,357 I've got it! 972 01:14:38,821 --> 01:14:41,123 Hey, guys, look! They're starting to come! 973 01:14:41,148 --> 01:14:42,346 They're coming! 974 01:15:14,733 --> 01:15:16,733 Turn on the record player! 975 01:15:16,767 --> 01:15:18,586 Cover your ears! Everyone! 976 01:15:18,619 --> 01:15:22,463 ♪ Puberty, puberty love 977 01:15:23,090 --> 01:15:27,200 ♪ there's nothing like puberty love ♪ 978 01:15:27,547 --> 01:15:31,742 ♪ it's so great, it's so cool ♪ 979 01:15:34,257 --> 01:15:37,924 Look! The tomatoes! It's working, it's working! 980 01:15:59,434 --> 01:16:01,334 Charge! 981 01:18:34,500 --> 01:18:37,180 I want to thank you for saving my life. 982 01:18:38,045 --> 01:18:39,912 Just doing my job, lady. 983 01:18:42,099 --> 01:18:45,500 Well, I guess there's nothing more to say. 984 01:18:46,005 --> 01:18:47,467 Bye, Mr. Dixon. 985 01:18:48,476 --> 01:18:49,700 Goodbye, miss Fairchild. 986 01:18:49,931 --> 01:18:50,969 "Lois." 987 01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:54,448 Lois. 988 01:18:56,060 --> 01:18:57,821 Goodbye, Mr. Dixon. 989 01:18:59,853 --> 01:19:01,061 "Mason." 990 01:19:01,865 --> 01:19:03,219 Mason? 991 01:19:06,167 --> 01:19:07,500 Lois? 992 01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:10,000 Oh, Mason! 993 01:19:10,548 --> 01:19:12,734 - Lois! - Mason! 994 01:19:12,949 --> 01:19:14,933 - Lois! - Mason! 995 01:19:15,221 --> 01:19:17,533 - Lois! - Lois! 996 01:19:17,749 --> 01:19:19,082 Mason! 997 01:19:48,299 --> 01:19:51,492 ♪ The first time i saw you ♪ 998 01:19:51,532 --> 01:19:54,433 ♪ I hated your guts 999 01:19:54,667 --> 01:19:57,909 ♪ I felt your love 1000 01:19:58,060 --> 01:20:01,333 ♪ for cigarette butts 1001 01:20:01,742 --> 01:20:05,063 ♪ but now that I've touched you ♪ 1002 01:20:05,119 --> 01:20:08,233 ♪ I always will love you ♪ 1003 01:20:08,267 --> 01:20:12,733 ♪ my love for you will never dim ♪ 1004 01:20:12,767 --> 01:20:15,382 ♪ until all the fish can't swim ♪ 1005 01:20:15,407 --> 01:20:18,342 ♪ the first time i saw you ♪ 1006 01:20:18,499 --> 01:20:21,600 ♪ was such a thrill to me ♪ 1007 01:20:21,834 --> 01:20:25,783 ♪ I felt your nose 1008 01:20:25,808 --> 01:20:27,933 ♪ tickle my knee 1009 01:20:27,967 --> 01:20:31,333 ♪ our love will be classy ♪ 1010 01:20:31,367 --> 01:20:34,700 ♪ like Timmy and Lassie 1011 01:20:36,069 --> 01:20:39,790 ♪ I know that you're ever mine ♪ 1012 01:20:39,815 --> 01:20:45,215 ♪ until the very end of time ♪ 1013 01:21:35,287 --> 01:21:38,120 All right, you guys, they're gone now.